Thursday, November 19, 2009

About "1 Thing" & Lyrics

Back in the day, when I was dancing professionally, one of my fellow hip-hop dancers told me about how she met this guy online. She explained how great he was...and also how he always wore baseball caps in all his online pictures.

They end up going out on a date and low and behold, the baseball cap comes off and all of a sudden, she gets a shiny surprise.

Needless to say, she wasn't into bald-headed guys and even though everything was great, she just couldn't get past it. And so, that was the end of that.

Her story and Du Damage's beats inspired my lyrics for "1 Thing". The song is pretty straightforward, but there are a few words or phrases that you might not get. Here's a little help...

Whoo whoos:



Hot breath: bad breath

Sweatin' ellipticals: Refers to working up a sweat while exercising on the elliptical machine...

UA threads: Under Armour Workout Clothes...

Swole-ass stud:

Max glutes: Word play with the scientific word for buttocks...Glutius Maximus.

Tread: HAHAHAHAHA! Here's a nice example...

Uni: Unibrow... Birthday suit:


Smokin' on that stick: Reference to cancer sticks or cigarettes...

Weed Thrasher:


Ah. Yeah.
Ah. Uh uh.
Ah. Yeah.
So get a load if this...

I was walking down the street
Passed the whoo whoos and the whistles
This guy looked krispy clean
So off I went to kizzle Jizzle

He was into me so quick
He hit me with them hazel eyes,
Pulled me close, he was so hot
So was his breath. It made me cry (Ewww! Oh no!)

It's just too bad (bad)
When it seems so right (right)
The perfect thing you had (had)
Just got messed up by that 1 thing (1 thing)

No second chance (chance)
Your target was in sight (sight)
But you just had to pass (pass)
'Cause he was messed up by that 1 thing (1 thing)

OH oh oh (Oh)
Yeah ah ah (Yeah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 thing (By that 1 thing)

OH oh oh (Oh)
Yeah ah ah ah ah (Yeah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 1

Sweatin ellipticals at the Gold's
Lookin fly in my UA threads
See swole-ass stud from the rear
Poppin max glutes on the tread

Switched up to make my move
Faked a trip to catch his eye
Then when he locked his eyes on me
He rocked a uni, aye aye aye (Ech! Hell no!)

It's just too bad (too bad)
When it seems so right (so right)
The perfect thing you had (perfect)
Just got messed up by that 1 thing (that 1 thing)

No second chance (chance)
Your target was in sight (in sight)
But you just had to pass (I'll pass)
'Cause he was messed up by that 1 thing

OH oh oh (Oh oh oh)
Yeah ah ah (Yeah ah ah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 thing

OH oh oh (Oh oh oh)
Yeah ah ah ah ah (Yeah ah ah ah ah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 1

I was surfin the social networks
Spotted hottie, straight bill capped
He had a certain style and he wore
His jeans just below the crack (Ooooh!)

So we met up on a date
Make-out session fast ensued
As we donned both our birthday suits
His hat fell off. Combover...oooh. (giggle)

S.U.B. of Tha Pak:
You sexy, and I'm sexy, too (What?)
I can show you what sexy do
Suit, Pepsi Blue. My sex is right
I'm fresh to death and afterlife

And, we don't have to fight
We can chill to the morning, come back to life
I'm a dude that you have to like
And did I tell you that I have a wife. Is that okay?

It's just too bad (bad)
When it seems so right (right)
The perfect thing you had (had)
Just got messed up by that 1 thing (1 thing)

No second chance (chance)
Your target was in sight (sight)
But you just had to pass (pass)
'Cause he was messed up by that 1 thing (1 thing)

OH oh oh (Oh oh oh)
Yeah ah ah (Yeah ah ah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 thing (by that 1 thing)

OH oh oh (Oh oh oh)
Yeah ah ah ah ah (Yeah ah ah ah ah)
You've been had by
Just that 1 1 (Just that 1 thing)

Do you want some gum (gum)
Maybe a mint (mint)
Maybe you should stop (stop)
Smokin on that stick (stick)

Do you want some gum (gum)
Maybe a mint (mint)
Maybe you should stop (stop)
Smokin on that stick (stick)

Get offa me unibrow
Ima take a Weed Thrasher to that thing

And you!
Whatchu savin those last strands for?
Shave it off!
Own it

Copyright (c) 2009 Malaya Mai
All rights reserved

Producer - Du Damage
Featured Rapper - S.U.B. of Tha Pak
Lyrics & Melody - Malaya Mai
Location - Du Damage Studio, Oakland, CA

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

About "Flip The Coin" & Lyrics

Despite what people might think, when I wrote these lyrics, I wasn't addressing any certain guy.  The song is an ode to the daring of independent women. Flip The Coin is my way of relating to other women of confidence and experience. They choose to go against the social norm of waiting around for men to take the lead in the gamble of love. Experience has given them the upper hand and they choose to claim their winnings on their own the sweetest way possible, of course. ;)


Hey! It's Malaya!
I need a little change.
'Cause I'm about to flip it.

You're lookin' mighty fine
What's your number can I call you up
I'm not like the other girls
I know exactly what I want

Like a deer in my headlights
Fight or flight, baby, don't be stunned.
And lookin' like it's the Cali state
Lottery that you won

Don't be scared baby
I'll show you how it's done
Put your hands in mine
I'll show you real fun
You're like a stop sign
Can't pass you up
Let me flip this coin
Heads you lose
Tails I win this one

I'm 'bout to flip, flip, flip this coin on you
I'm 'bout to flip, flip, flip this coin on you
I'm 'bout to flip, flip, flip this coin on you
I'm 'bout to flip, flip, flip this coin on you

Fly straight, low key & quiet
You're the kind of man that'll last
I've seen it all baby
Done the chicas, champagne & flash

It's time to get down to it
What you got, I'll better than match
You better step it up, boy
If you're not game, then I'll pass



Can't pass you up
You know I called it
You won me over
It must be luck

It's much too much
Too late for you
Cashin' it in
Nothin' that you can do
Nothin' that you can do

Nothin' you can do!


Heads you lose
Tails I won
Too bad for you
I won't flip another one

Producer - Clayton William McChesney
Lyrics & Melody - Malaya Mai
Location - Above the Bar Studios, San Francisco, CA

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Singin' 'Bout Giddy Yups & Grass-Fed Beefaroni at Thread Show

So remember that earlier Leek post "Party With Big Pool Mistaken for Big Party With Pool"?  There ain't no pool at Thread Show so there'll be no confusion here! 

I really WILL be performing in front of more than 6 people FINALLY!  Okay, okay...I'm not headlining or anything, and nobody's really paying to see me, per se, but it's a start, right? 

WHERE:  Thread Show's Fusion Fashion Show Runway at Fort Mason - Festival Pavilion
WHEN:  The 4pm set
DESIGNERS:  Saaz Designs & jules elin

I'll be singing "Flip The Coin", a Club/Pop song produced by Clayton William (San Jose), and an R&B/Pop song called "1 Thing" produced by Du Damage (Oakland).  Both songs were written by yours truly.  "Flip The Coin" is about a confident woman who takes lust or whatever you want to call it* by the reigns and giddy yups. 

(*Some people call it "love".  I would say you just paid cover and got into the club, so whoa, nelly! )

"1 Thing" is about how this guy you're into really seems to make the grade...I mean this guy is just Certified, Grade A, Grass-Fed Beefaroni, right?!   Well, think again...Grass-Fed Beefaroni ends up having a unibrow or bad breath or a combover.  Take your pick.

Anyways, I digress.  The point is, I really want you to see me sing about these things.  And if you have a unibrow, bad breath or a combover, please come, too!  We'll all laugh!  It'll be fun!

RSVP online via the link below, and you can get in for $2 less ($8 entry instead of $10).  And the link also says that if you donate clothes or valet your bike, you can also get in for $2 less.  $6 might be the price with the possible cumulative savings.  Whether it's cumulative or not, I don't know yet, but as soon as I find out, I'll let you all know.



See you from the runway!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

ArtNowSF & Alchemetric Are The Big Kahunas Running This Thread Thing

Have you heard that Thread is doing a 2-day holiday event at Fort Mason?!  It's just before the Thanksgiving holiday on November 21st & 22nd.  ArtNowSF now manages and produces the show and are also the curators for the local artist pieces that will be presented there.  Alchemetric, a.k.a. Darien Bamdad, will also be organizing and running the fashion shows which will be happening twice a day for both days.  This is no small feat.  If ArtNowSF and Alchemetric sound familiar to you, that's because they are the same organizations that run the Veni Vidi Vici event at Club 6.

If you're interested in selling your wares, check out Darien's message below, and hopefully I'll see you from the runway!...

I hope this email finds everyone content and in good spirit...

If you haven't already heard about California's newest and fastest
growing fashion trade show: Thread, then please become aware.  Thread
brings the freshest and most up-and-coming brands in fashion, art and
music to a California buyer's market!
This year, Artnow SF is involved in the management and production of
the Thread trade show and Alchemetric will be organizing and running
the fashion shows during the trade show!

Anyone who has a brand in fashion, music or art and is interested in
getting some booth space at our upcoming November 21-22 2009 Thread
trade show at Fort Mason Center, please let me know and I will send
you some specific information in regards.

Feel free to pass this information along to anyone that it may be
pertinent for as well...

Many Thanks,

Darien Bamdad
415 571 9860
Fashion Curator

Friday, October 2, 2009

Raves & Wrecks: Full Moon Buy Night 2009

Oakland, CA - Walking a spiral through the maze of booths that Full Moon Buy Night (FMBN) had to offer me, I couldn't help but come out of it with mixed feelings. 

I go to so many of these things, and I'm always looking for something new and different, even a different presentation or ambiance of some sort.  So when I saw the online flyer for this event, the presentation of certain images and words made this event a shoo-in for me.  I was lured by the images of a full moon and the string lights and the words "night", "bazaar" & "waterfront".  When I got there, that's exactly the ambiance that FMBN offered me...a night bazaar with string lights on the waterfront under the moonlight. 

There were some local food vendors, a small farmer's market, some local fashion vendors, some exhibitors and some entertainment.  The bazaar offered such a variety of things.  So why oh why did I feel shorted in some way? Why oh why did I feel like I needed more?

And then it hit me.  The last East Bay event I went to was East Bay Express' Best of the East Bay Party at the Oakland Museum.  Yes, yes, YES!  Need I say more?!

Now if you'll see the bottom of FMBN's flyer, East Bay Express had a hand in this event.  I don't know what kind of hand it was or how much of its hand was allowed in the FMBN cookie jar, but let's just say that this year, FMBN is your father's Best of the East Bay Party...maybe even your grandfather's.

With an awesome 5 for Rave and an abysmal 1 for Wreck...
  • 5 raving stars to whoever designed the flyer
  • 5 raving stars for the ambiance
  • 3 stars for what was offered.  A good variety of offerings...but I just wanted more.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

They Pull Me Back In!

Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in!

I can't help it y'all.  I'm being tempted by all the fun on the waterfront of Jack London Square in Oakland tonight:

I hope I don't find anything expensive, 'cause then I'll be in trouble.  Does anyone know the number to Shopaholics Anonymous?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Time to Hustle

It's been awhile hasn't it? I keep on telling everybody about these awesome, just-can't-pass-em-up independent designer trunk shows that I can't even attend because, basically, I am BRRRR-OKE!

The recession has hit me with a pay cut, I'm in the middle of dishing out cash for the divorce process and the fact that I can't find a girl roommate to help me pay for this godforsaken rent is totally killing me and my savings. I'm not technically a starving artist just yet, but if I don't get me dolla billz in some form, I may fit the bill soon.

Right now though...I'm just glad I have a job. But I need a side job to get by. I'm thinking about delving into my other training, dog boarding...maybe try my hand out at sewing my own line. Either way, I don't want to work for "the man". I want to work for myself, so here goes...

Got a dog that needs training? I've got references. I specialize in basic & trick training. I'll show you and your dog the ropes. ;)

Got a dog that needs to be supervised during your day job? The dog can't be a nuisance barker and must get along with my dog. Your dog will hang with me and my Bull Mastiff-Rhodesian Ridgeback mix during my work day from 8am to 7pm.

How about puppy socialization. If your puppy is afraid of people with hats or sunglasses, other dogs, vacuums and so on, I can help with that, too.

I also organize dog parties. Depending on your budget, you can propose locations, I can make or provide favors, moderate games, coordinate prizes for both owners and your dogs friends, and more!

Have a source for cheap fabric? Message me via my website.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

THE LEEK: Party With Big Pool Mistaken for Big Party With Pool

By P. Ordonia. September 4, 2009

Orinda, CA - Independent artist, Malaya Mai, misinterpreted a text from her rapper friend and fellow performer, who requested his name remain anonymous. "When he texted me that his manager was having a party at his place, with a big pool, to celebrate his birthday and that he wanted me to meet some people and perform, naturally I got hella excited and thought it would be a big party," said Malaya. That was not the case as Malaya and her rapper friends took the stage, or more accurately, the cement floor near the big pool outside, in the big backyard. "Just as soon as my rapper friend announced that we were about to perform, the manager's 6 or 7 friends that were in attendance disappeared into his house. What was left was 1 DJ, 2 rappers, 1 rapper's day job co-worker, 2 of my friends and me."

Despite the abysmal attendance, words shouted from Malaya's rapper friend as she took the stage were encouraging, "Perform like you're singing to a crowd of people!" And so she screamed into the "crowd", "Hellooooooo, Orinda!" And at the end of her debut performance of 1 Thing, Malaya made light of the situation by shouting into the mic, "Thank you! And good night!"

The small attendance was explained away with overheard laments of, "The venue was just too big for these small-time but very talented artists." "The manager is a manager, not a promoter. Duh!" "Where did the promoter disappear off to again?" "Wait! Was there even a promoter?" Some made it personal and theorized, "The manager must just have a small amount of genuine and real friends as opposed to those poser managers that befriend everybody. But are they really friends to any of them?! NO!" And one reminisced, "Kids these days. All they think about is staying inside the house and partying. What happened to good ole' fashioned outside pool parties with live rappers and singers?!"

Despite the low attendance, Malaya found positives in this private, not-really-a-party performance situation, "Big pools do not necessarily beget big parties."

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Malaya Mai

"Malaya Mai" is symbolic of my 2 loves...

Freedom:  "Malaya" means "freedom" in Tagalog - a popular language spoken in the Philippines. I'm a free spirit...mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  I get feisty when those freedoms are taken from me.

Dancing:  "Mai", I've read, means "dance" in Japanese.  Interesting...'cause that's what I do! Spin me some Timberland, JT, LMFAO...whatevs! I feel it in my bones, therefore I dance. My parents are responsible for tagging me with that nickname. What a foreshadowing that turned out to be.

Message me via my website.

Check out this YouTube video, compliments of DJ Maniakal!:

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Time To Move & Shake

Yaaay! I get to be a Mover & Shaker this time! So if you've been keeping abreast of my blog entries, you may have noticed that I've been working on somethin' a little Pop, somethin' a little Dance, somethin' a little Club.

I've also been working on my new artist MySpace page! It's not much right now, but if you still want to become my friend (HINT! HINT!), click here!

So, without further adieu, here's my new debut single, "Flip the Coin". I hope you like it! If you do like it, pretty please with a cherry on a little support in whatever way you can by commenting on the song, sharing the song with friends and/or buying the song and blasting it through your open car window at every stoplight!


Message me via my website.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

THE LEEK: Questionable Gender of Cop Falls in Favor of Cop

San Mateo, CA - After being pulled over in her car, independent recording artist, Malaya Mai was not sure how to act when the police officer arrived at her car window to ask her the usual question, "Do you know why I pulled you over, ma'am?"

"It was kind of dark and the officer had a voice that was neither feminine nor masculine...just somewhere smack dab in the middle," explained Mai.  "As soon as I saw she-man's face, it was unclear to me whether to unbutton the top of my blouse or just feign 'woman' problems or what.  Usually, I know for sure right off hand what to do, but I was just caught off-guard and did neither."

The police officer, who asked to remain anonymous, wrote her a traffic ticket for speeding.  "Although she looked alert and was looking straight at me, she looked confused, but followed my instructions and had all the necessary paperwork.  She was clearly going 15mph over the speed limit."

Mai claimed that Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" was to blame.  "Every time it comes on, I just wanna go fast.  But either way I should've just unbuttoned my shirt.  We are in the Bay Area after all, and people don't go fast around here...they just go both ways."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Flip The Coin

From Movers, Shakers
This is the place where my dreams come true! My producer, Clayton William of Trinity Music Group, and I just finished re-recording vocals for "Flip The Coin" in this picture at Starsky's Above the Bar Studios off of Sixth & Bryant Street in San Francisco.

Message me via my website.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Mover & Shaker: Darien Bamdad

From Movers, Shakers
Renaissance man spotted at Chillin' at 111 Minna Gallery!!! Darien Bamdad (seen here in the middle w/ friend Stephen on the right) is the genius mind behind Alchemetric, a clothing line that fuses fabric with the various geometries of our realm; diligent and efficacious promoter for ArtNowSF; co-founder of Jersey Roots Entertainment; and, coordinator for the MONTHLY Veni Vidi Vici event at Club Six. I don't know how he does it, but he keeps it together like a diamond in the rough.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Mover & Shaker: Rameen Gasery

From Movers, Shakers
The jokingly-self-titled "Man Medusa" in the middle is Rameen Gasery. Tan Truong, owner of the yummy Candybar in SF's NOPA neighborhood, called Rameen a "natural talent" because, after all, he's only been a highly-skilled photographer/aesthetic engineer for just over a year. Rameen's works of art are currently on display at Candybar. Candybar serves up desserts, wine, games and Sunday brunch! And Tan says that 80% of the clientele are hot women. Okay...I added the "hot" part, but either way, get your butt in Candybar and purchase all that is delicious, including Rameen's masterpieces!